I have been on a spiritual journey for many years, not because I wanted to be holy or spiritual but because I recognized in my twenties that the answers to all my problems laid in the wisdom of the east. Christianity was, to me filled with fear and judgement, very limited in its understanding of the universe and consciousness.
It was only after I smoked some weed that my mind was released and I began to see a wider, deeper state of reality. I began reading every Buddhist and Indian philosophy book I could get my hands on. Here was an exciting world of endless possibilities. Here were universes within universes. Gods and Goddesses, masters that were fun, loving, intelligent, kind and generous with their wisdom and blessings. People who where living a magical world of miracles and everyday common sense.
God was anything you wanted Her to be, light, consciousness, Presence, beingness, bliss, Oneness and most of all love. The rules where more like guidelines helping you along the journey to become awakened, fully enlightened. The East, over thousands of years had created a road map on how to be happy and fully conscious in light and love. Their psychology was advanced with detail instructions on how to reach peace, and I loved it all.
But there was one problem that kept showing up, I had difficulty really understanding the rituals that where meant to awaken the God within and gain His grace.
In one of my trips to India I realised that the Indians see God, as there for them, not the other way around. God is supposed to help them in family, wealth creation, health and life in general. They have no problem with demanding from God what they need.
At the same time they do all they can to entice God to show up, hence all the elaborate ceremonies to draw Him to them. The crazy thing is that it works. Doing one of these 8 hour ceremonies I was taken into a different level of awareness, the energy shifts, the energy centers open within the body/mind and a different level of reality opened to reveal love, light and an awakened intelligence not previously present.
But I realised at the same time I wasn’t Indian and I was not brought up in the culture. The little nuances of an Indian upbringing was not in my DNA blue print. No matter how hard I tried, I was a western white boy with Christian DNA. It was at this time I prayed to Jesus Christ and my prayer went like this, “OK Jesus I am willing to have you in my life but I don’t want all the christian crap. You will have to come to me in a different way, a way that entails meditation and love” and I left it at that.
Two weeks later a friend came over with a set of Books. She said that a yoga teacher we both knew had given them to her, thinking I might be able to use them. She wasn’t interested in them and my name had popped up in her mind. The books where ‘A Course in Miracles’ (ACIM), a book channeled from Christ by a Jewish psychologist.
It pretty well covered all my criteria for how Jesus was allowed back into my life. And so started a journey that I have been on and off for 35 year. I started with the workbook, each lesson was as a daily meditation. Through these years Christ and I have had our ups and downs.The course took a back seat while I lived at the Findhorn community in Scotland. Over that 5 years it was 24 hour/ 7 days a week group encounter with 200 members. There was so much going on spiritually that I didn’t need to look at the books.
to be continued -Chasing God part 2
“Entering the water he disturbs nothing
he lets the water take him
he aims for the opposite shore
and allows the current to take him there,
he emerges relaxed, no energy expended
and goes on his way.” RK
Written by Robert Kendall