I am about to change direction once again
by Robert Kendall
The last couple of years I have been struggling with health issues and how to make a living while doing what inspires me. Being able to let go my identity as an Acupuncturist has been harder than I thought.
Over the last few years I have began to realise that my health was beginning to suffer from looking after so many sick people. hey I have been doing it for over 35 years.
Don’t get me wrong I love helping people get well but a few years ago I began to realise I was subconsciously taking on all the problems that the client presented me with. I was trying to sort out all their issues in an hour. Problems that they had accumulated over many years of not following the Tao/the way of health and happiness.
And here I was trying to do and say all I could in the appointed time. In fact the longer I spent with a client the better they felt and the worse I did. Do that for 10+ clients a day, year in year out and your health starts to break down. Thank God my wife is a great healer and I have my daily routine of meditation and Qi Gong.
The more I talked to other practitioners the more I realised that many were having the same problem. It seemed within the umbrella called ‘medicine and healing’, ‘burn out’ is a common problem.
Most healers give so much that they have little time to recuperate their energy loses.. These problems might not show up for 20 years but if they aren’t practicing preventative and restorative care for themselves then the stress of being with sick people will start the wearing down process and sickness will eventually rear its ugly head.
In the ‘A Course in Miracles’ There is a lesson called ‘Sickness is a defence against the truth’ (workbook Lesson 136). In this Lesson Christ explains that we use sickness as a way of avoiding the truth.
My truth was that I was over being a ‘one on one’ healer. It was becoming to exhausting and emotional painful for me. I was in need of a rest, a break from caring. My heart was breaking from all the sad painful stories I heard every day.
I was frustrated that I couldn’t just stand back and not get emotionally involved while treating. I used all the techniques of surrounding my self in light and handing over to a greater power. Sometimes it worked but most of the time I needed an hour in meditation just to find my centre.
I have always cared to much. I know where it comes from within my childhood and I have had lots of therapy on how to be impartial and just do my job but the truth was even with all my understanding I still feel peoples pain even if is at the unconscious level.
I read a great book ‘Letting Go the path of surrender’ by Dr.David Hawkins ( wrote a blog 2/6/2014 ) about how he became sick after running a large psychiatric hospital with a staff of 50 therapists with 2000 out patients. He explains in the book that he became sick (with over 26 medically diagnosed health problems) mainly because “There were too many people crying out for help, the work became to much for him and his body went into decline”
He believed that he had to suppress his own negative feelings to do his clinical and scientific work. but the truth was the more he suppressed his emotions the sicker he became. It took him over 7 years to recover, he had to retire and spend his days meditating and feeling his pain and emotions.
I have come to believe that if anyone says they want to be a healer they also have to be willing to take on what ever the Divine sends them. They have made an agreement to help heal themselves and everyone who comes to them.
I accepted years ago that every client I ever saw was there for my own healing. Clients are really a mirror to our own need for healing.
When I was studying in India the monks there talked of world Karma and the ancient mind that runs through all of us. This ancient mind is playing out in all our lives and needs to be healed for all of humanity to fully awaken to loves presence.
I could properly say this better, but we are all here to help each other, but we can’t do that until we heal ourselves. ‘You have to take the stick out of your own eye before you can take it out of your neighbours eye.”
So I have decided to retire from being a one on one practitioner. I will still treat friends, family and a few close clients but my days of running a clinic are over.
I prefer now to teach. I want to help people heal themselves. We all have the power to heal, we all have the power to create miracles. We just have to get out of our own way, quieten the mind and open the heart to the wisdom that sits within.
We have to be willing to drop all our defences and take the time to listen within.
The healer within knows what to do. We just need to take the time each day to listen.
Robert Kendall is a Wholistic Natural Energy Medicine Practitioner,
Dip.Med.Herb, Kinesiologist. retired B.Ac. mATMS
He runs courses on Meditation, Deep Relaxation and ‘Breaking the Stress Cycle’ (online).
We have a new website dedicated to our new online courses www.in8wisdom.com
You may contact him email firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com