I finished the last blog describing how Dr Hawkins quit the hospital and went to a small town to recover. To recap, he had realised that as a knowledgeable psychiatrist he had made his thoughts more important than the feelings that accompanied them.
He had just pushed his feelings away from his conscious mind down into his body and subconscious where the negative energy built up over years into his 26 physical ailments. He realised that ignoring his feelings was slowly killing him.
We humans try to use our thinking processes to figure out our stressful, negative emotions. We think that our thoughts generate our painful feelings and I must say that for a long time I have too. But I tricked myself by identifying myself with my conscious logical mind, not the huge unconscious mind that has many different emotional frequencies vibrating through the body-mind.
I thought that the thinking mind was the same as the brain and that thoughts created emotions within the body. Now I am beginning to understand that my feelings are an energy and my brain does it’s best to make sense of that vibrational energy.
Dr Hawkins book has shown me a very important truth.That to ignore your negative feelings will eventually kill you or at least make you very sick. I was fearful of feeling my negative emotions and fearful of fully letting them go.What if they took over or swamped me sending me crazy? Of course all these thoughts needed to be let go of as well.
I recognised how I spent my days focused on getting rid of my negative feelings and trying to work out why they where there. Another name for this constant worry is anxiety. Dr Hawkins points out that the more you are focused on your negative emotions the weaker your energy systems become making it very difficult to focus on what is good in your life.
For a couple of years now I have been getting the lessons, heavy reinforced, to let go, to give up, to surrender to what is, to surrender my life to God’s Presence. Of course this means giving up judgement, interpretation of events, surrendering into the here and now and having complete trust in what turns up.
I have been resisting completely letting go into the hands of the Divine. I have let go by degrees, surrender for a little while but then quickly taking it back when God seemed to be taking to long or that it looked like to me that I might not get what I wanted. I just didn’t believe that the Divine was doing a good job. I certainly wasn’t getting what I wanted, I wasn’t super rich or healthy, or always peaceful and happy. I wasn’t sitting in the Bahamas on my yacht drinking pina coladas.
For most of my life I have felt that if things were going to get better, then it was up to me to make it happen. My parents drummed into me that ‘if you wanted anything’ then you had to work hard and sacrifice ‘now’ for the future. I have used every trick I could, mind maps, affirmations, prayer, gratitude, meditation, reading thousands of books and attending hundreds of courses.
When I was in India doing an Awakening retreat I realised that I was frightened of God and the price that I might have to pay to get His attention. I went into the ancient mind of Christianity and recognised that what us ‘Christians’ are most afraid of, is, that if we really surrendered to God, He might ask of us, what He seemed to ask Christ to do, to be crucified and die for Him. This I believe is a fundamental fear that runs through our western Christian unconscious minds. That if we want God to come into our lives then we are going to have to sacrifice or give up something.
I have been emotionally suffering because I have been trying too hard to be good and do it right. I believed that every negative thought had to be looked at and cleared and I have spent my whole adult life trying to be good for God. I realise now how arrogant was my thinking. That somehow I could figure out what I should do to make the Divine love me. I didn’t stop to think that maybe God/Self loves me totally and all I need to do is show a little willingness to get out of the way and allow Grace to flow into my life and consciousness.
The Masters say “that when you are ready the master will find you”. Well, Dr David Hawkins’ book found me. People kept saying I should read this book about Letting Go, but I already had 5 books next to my bed so I was in no hurry to add another book to the collection. But now that I have picked it up it has become my constant companion. Nothing, in this moment of time, holds the power that this simple act of surrender does for me.
In my next blog I will share with you some simple methods of letting go that you may use to improve your health, relationships, prosperity, inner peace and happiness.
As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend.
But then, instead of leaving Him, in peace, to work alone;
I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
“How can you be so slow?”
“My child,” He said, “What could I do? You never did let go.”
author Lauretta P.Burns 1957